在我正式入大學讀心理學時，有一種不成文說法，就是讀科學系的人比較少有宗教信仰，其中以生物系為無神論者的天堂;另外一天堂為社會科學中的心理學，所以如果為自己作心理分析，選讀心理學就是向香港主流宗教基督教說不的意思。所以現在基督右派以生物科為宗教入侵科學的僑頭堡,心理意義大於一切，代表為基督教打羸文化戰爭，把最反叛的一班人都收服;還有是策略上的考量﹐把最強的敵人都除去，其他不太具威脅性可以慢慢征服;由此推論，基督教心理學的冒起，可以看是宗教入侵社會科學的另一路線，把文科理科都收納在基督教聖經下，一書可以盡收天下英雄豪傑。再依此推論，基督教心理學之後會有基督教人類學、基督教文化學、基督教社會學、基督教心理學、基督教政治學，基督右派於是成就了連歐洲黑暗時代政教合一的教皇都不敢想像的盛況，雖然沒有一個中央教會來代替國家政府，但是基督教成了人類生活的必需品。不再是基督教教士用武力壓迫，而是後現代心靈空虛的人主動奉迎。黑暗時代來了，你還不知不覺!
我的分析是比較各科學，物理學是最容易入侵，但也最無意義;因為物理教師如果是信仰基督教又忍不住生產更多的聖奴的話(聖奴之後，就是性奴)，他只要上堂時說一句:「F=ma的背後就是耶穌基督」就可以，就算有政教分離的法例，也相當難防範;不過，如此只可能宣揚一位Deist 的神，所有物理定律有賴此神源源不絕的神力支持，但是此神相當機械化﹐沒有自由意志﹐生活是非它不可，但要由此說服學生牠關愛每一人類，無所不在，無所不知，甚至和每人都有比情人更親密的關係似乎很難，除非學生有戀屍廦(necrophilia);化學同理，這句話:「神愛世人，所以氫氧才化合成水」又或者化學作用背後是神力都未免太腦殘了吧?因為化學的最基本原理:同性相斥及異性相吸太容易明白了!生物學的演化原則不是這麼顯而易見，又不可以即時用實驗闡明，化學、物理可以即時做實驗，不會因為是不同人做而有不同的結果，要在現象和過程中多加一位神祗實屬多餘，因為人類的認知心理系統一般都是傾向捨難取易。再者﹐生物學的名詞又多又難記，而且和人類同屬有機物而有親和性，基督右派捨生物學其誰呢?
心理學和基督教聖經一直在競爭箸人性的解讀權﹐如果神學水平低的就傾向用替代思維框框來看兩者的關係:基督教似乎有相當神奇的改變人性能力，人心難測是人性通識，因為人天生就了了解到自己不能了解完全自己，而可以全通人性之物，在潛意識中自然是被當成無所不知;把人掌握到瞭如指掌的，在潛意識中自然是當成無所不能;此物為惡是沒有任何人可以接受的事。但是，心理學把人性去除神秘的外衣，原來改變人性是有通用的方法，而不是什麼超自然的力量，人可以掌握自己、了解自己，所謂和神溝通，其實也可以用神經心理學來解釋，也可以做實驗來證明，於是妨如在化學和物理科一樣，基督教的神以類的認知心理系統一般都是傾向捨難取易的本質，顯得有點多餘。不過，心理學起步不過百年，對人性的了解比起生物學對生物的了解尚算膚淺;再者，心理學是一門僅次於哲學的抽象學問，一般人要掌握不是太易，所以基督教聖經如此現成的「解釋」，還是有一點優勢。
不過，雖然心理學和生物學都是難懂，一但下九牛二虎之力讀通，基督教中神學水平最低的基督右派便再無一席之地。是故，保護生物科免被基督右派的神學入侵是為了中華民族/香港的前途，它才是真正的中國最大的禍根，道德淪亡只會增加罪犯的人數(其實也沒有證明美國基右的聖經帶罪案比較少)，社會自能適應;但基督右派一但成功，不消四年便生產了二場戰爭，在香港則催生了明光社、恩福堂、網絡廿三條、馬灣創世公園、恩雨之聲佔領公共電視頻道、知識份子大報明(光)報、創世電視台、智慧設計論/神創論登堂入室及基督教傭工中心，距離基督教(神棍)幕後治港只有一步之遙!
2009年6月12日 星期五
2008年6月23日 星期一
The experience of Obsessive Compulsion Disorder
(This is again reprinted with permission from one of the friend I know, again it contain material not suitable for anyone has a faint heart.)
Talk about Obsession and Compulsion, none can have a clearer idea than what I have experience. I never see myself as someone out of ordinary. In a capitalistic society, the obsession with wealth and power is what defined us, these who wish to live a simple and peaceful life should never have lived in our society. They shouldn’t exist in the first place. This is our world, this world is all about money, wealth, material possession, power and sex.
I obsesses with different object at different stage of my psychological development, to put in a frenzy term. One of the most persistent urge of me is female young and old, I can’t live a day without thinking about them, looking at their picture(preferably naked or in act of greatest nature beauty). So when I was in High School, I obsess with a girl so I literally with her almost 24 hours a day. She is either physically present, emotionally and intellectually present in my mind. I talk to her, I write to her, I walk with her, I go everywhere with her for whole three months of our short but intense affair. If there is any attractiveness of my part in her, that must be my unexplainable obsession with her. When I date her; I smell her, touch her, taste her anywhere in every chance I got. Would I ever care about anything about the school given such an obsession with her?
When there is a time that we really at separate places, phone is such a magic tool that connect us together(It is fortunate that where I live is such a nice place that telephone company doesn’t charge by minute, otherwise I would have to own a telephone company to afford my own calls!). If not, then I can give myself some training of my English by writing her. Given I had done all three, I still have spare time to analyze her psychologically from all the Psychological theories I know of. Since she like Psychology, so I spent day and night read every books I can get my hands on about psychology. Within 3 months, I had completed all the reading necessary for the first year of University Psychology. She like tender bear, I spent all my money to buy anything what she want without a second of consideration (yet I save my cost by walking back and fro from my home to hers.) I almost empty my bank account by doing that. She is my life, she is my future and she will be my wife, so everything of mine will become hers. And I am no one but hers. My name is pointless unless in reference to her.
It is thus no surprise after I break-up with her, I went through the most severe Depression that any man can have. Because in my mind, I already emptied my own content and filled my heart with my obsession: Her. When she take away our relationship, it is no different from taking myself from me. What am I left of when I can no longer obsesses with what I am rightful to be obsess with? I maintain my obsession with her for whole 4 years of University, and never dated any girl despite their interest in me until last year. That is 13 years after I first meet her. It is not that I am no longer obsessive-compulsive about something, it is just that I switch my obsession to something more tangible: Success and money. Maybe some part of my mind is still thinking: If I am successful and rich, she would just come back to me one day!
Talk about Obsession and Compulsion, none can have a clearer idea than what I have experience. I never see myself as someone out of ordinary. In a capitalistic society, the obsession with wealth and power is what defined us, these who wish to live a simple and peaceful life should never have lived in our society. They shouldn’t exist in the first place. This is our world, this world is all about money, wealth, material possession, power and sex.
I obsesses with different object at different stage of my psychological development, to put in a frenzy term. One of the most persistent urge of me is female young and old, I can’t live a day without thinking about them, looking at their picture(preferably naked or in act of greatest nature beauty). So when I was in High School, I obsess with a girl so I literally with her almost 24 hours a day. She is either physically present, emotionally and intellectually present in my mind. I talk to her, I write to her, I walk with her, I go everywhere with her for whole three months of our short but intense affair. If there is any attractiveness of my part in her, that must be my unexplainable obsession with her. When I date her; I smell her, touch her, taste her anywhere in every chance I got. Would I ever care about anything about the school given such an obsession with her?
When there is a time that we really at separate places, phone is such a magic tool that connect us together(It is fortunate that where I live is such a nice place that telephone company doesn’t charge by minute, otherwise I would have to own a telephone company to afford my own calls!). If not, then I can give myself some training of my English by writing her. Given I had done all three, I still have spare time to analyze her psychologically from all the Psychological theories I know of. Since she like Psychology, so I spent day and night read every books I can get my hands on about psychology. Within 3 months, I had completed all the reading necessary for the first year of University Psychology. She like tender bear, I spent all my money to buy anything what she want without a second of consideration (yet I save my cost by walking back and fro from my home to hers.) I almost empty my bank account by doing that. She is my life, she is my future and she will be my wife, so everything of mine will become hers. And I am no one but hers. My name is pointless unless in reference to her.
It is thus no surprise after I break-up with her, I went through the most severe Depression that any man can have. Because in my mind, I already emptied my own content and filled my heart with my obsession: Her. When she take away our relationship, it is no different from taking myself from me. What am I left of when I can no longer obsesses with what I am rightful to be obsess with? I maintain my obsession with her for whole 4 years of University, and never dated any girl despite their interest in me until last year. That is 13 years after I first meet her. It is not that I am no longer obsessive-compulsive about something, it is just that I switch my obsession to something more tangible: Success and money. Maybe some part of my mind is still thinking: If I am successful and rich, she would just come back to me one day!
2008年6月22日 星期日
The experience of Manic-Depressive Disorder
(This is coming from experience of someone I know, with the permission from him to reprint. This experience may not be suitable for fainthearted.)
When I was almost in the last year of my Middle School, my heart is broken when the girl friend that I fell in love intensely demand our break-up. What I immediately did the coming day in the school is gather all the sleeping pills from home, since my parents has sleeping problems, then in afternoon I swallow maybe over 30 of them. Then I lost track of what happened in the afternoon until I found myself in hospital. For maybe next 6 months, I forgot how many times I attempted to kill myself. Just later my father almost have to hire a lawyer to fetch me from the hospital. I don’t know the term Clinical Depression at that time, it is only later when I read about Psychology then I know that term. My situation is actually more complex than that.
My first feeling is a psychosomatic feeling of heartbreaking, literally something is sank in my heart. I found it difficult to breath or swallow. Then the next morning what I notice of myself is that my face has no facial expression, and every minute in the School, my only thought is about the girl who betray me. Not even a single word from teachers has enter my mind. Then in the last lesson, I break out in tears. It does appear that however the tears I shed, that is nothing compare to the passion I have on that girl. My hope is completely broken. The next logical step is stop the suffering by self-annihilation, the methods doesn't matter.
However, a weeks later, the despondence mood turn into a feeling of emptiness and boring. I lost interest in absolutely anything include Psychology, Mathematics and Politics. I borrow books from library only to return untouched. I sleep very early but can’t fall asleep. I never had any sleeping trouble before, it appears now the trouble is getting any sleep at all. But strangely, I don't feel tired at all. Tired and not doesn’t make any different on me, nothing ever happen make any difference to me. The world is like a glass from me.
Then 2 weeks later which the usually dramatic person lost all my crowns, suddenly regain my energy. Somehow I manage to forgot that the whole love affair ever happened, and like I am free to love another one as I wish, and I am release from the prison of a damaging relationship. The energy maybe a little too much than my normal mood level since I am more active and busier than before. I found renewed interest in almost any girls I can find, and almost start chasing them immediately. Although my friends already get use to my previous level of activity, but they all consider my behavior is outside my mind. I know there is something wrong but I can't stopped it. Because as soon as this period of elation disappear, the dejection feeling come back to haunt me. I am, in a sense, to hide my pain and meaningless feeling in my heart. It is better to overdo than doing nothing.
That circle of artificial elation alternating with despondence repeated for four to five times, with the intensity of mood deviation decrease while the duration increase. That ended in my first year of University which I consciously decided to give her up forever, and openly talk to my friend about it, then attempt to pursue other relationships. What I believe is that the manic phase has completely receded, while the depressive mood still attack me occasionally until now.
I thought I finally come to terms with myself. I could suppress the suicidal thought with the notion that I can't succeed in any plan of suicide unless I am in a sound mood (which leave other a mess to clear up), but when I am in sound mood then why would I think of silly thing like killing myself? If I ever kill myself, I would certainly do it in a way that nobody can save; otherwise I simply wouldn't do it.
When I was almost in the last year of my Middle School, my heart is broken when the girl friend that I fell in love intensely demand our break-up. What I immediately did the coming day in the school is gather all the sleeping pills from home, since my parents has sleeping problems, then in afternoon I swallow maybe over 30 of them. Then I lost track of what happened in the afternoon until I found myself in hospital. For maybe next 6 months, I forgot how many times I attempted to kill myself. Just later my father almost have to hire a lawyer to fetch me from the hospital. I don’t know the term Clinical Depression at that time, it is only later when I read about Psychology then I know that term. My situation is actually more complex than that.
My first feeling is a psychosomatic feeling of heartbreaking, literally something is sank in my heart. I found it difficult to breath or swallow. Then the next morning what I notice of myself is that my face has no facial expression, and every minute in the School, my only thought is about the girl who betray me. Not even a single word from teachers has enter my mind. Then in the last lesson, I break out in tears. It does appear that however the tears I shed, that is nothing compare to the passion I have on that girl. My hope is completely broken. The next logical step is stop the suffering by self-annihilation, the methods doesn't matter.
However, a weeks later, the despondence mood turn into a feeling of emptiness and boring. I lost interest in absolutely anything include Psychology, Mathematics and Politics. I borrow books from library only to return untouched. I sleep very early but can’t fall asleep. I never had any sleeping trouble before, it appears now the trouble is getting any sleep at all. But strangely, I don't feel tired at all. Tired and not doesn’t make any different on me, nothing ever happen make any difference to me. The world is like a glass from me.
Then 2 weeks later which the usually dramatic person lost all my crowns, suddenly regain my energy. Somehow I manage to forgot that the whole love affair ever happened, and like I am free to love another one as I wish, and I am release from the prison of a damaging relationship. The energy maybe a little too much than my normal mood level since I am more active and busier than before. I found renewed interest in almost any girls I can find, and almost start chasing them immediately. Although my friends already get use to my previous level of activity, but they all consider my behavior is outside my mind. I know there is something wrong but I can't stopped it. Because as soon as this period of elation disappear, the dejection feeling come back to haunt me. I am, in a sense, to hide my pain and meaningless feeling in my heart. It is better to overdo than doing nothing.
That circle of artificial elation alternating with despondence repeated for four to five times, with the intensity of mood deviation decrease while the duration increase. That ended in my first year of University which I consciously decided to give her up forever, and openly talk to my friend about it, then attempt to pursue other relationships. What I believe is that the manic phase has completely receded, while the depressive mood still attack me occasionally until now.
I thought I finally come to terms with myself. I could suppress the suicidal thought with the notion that I can't succeed in any plan of suicide unless I am in a sound mood (which leave other a mess to clear up), but when I am in sound mood then why would I think of silly thing like killing myself? If I ever kill myself, I would certainly do it in a way that nobody can save; otherwise I simply wouldn't do it.
The experience of Paranoid Schizophrenia
(This is again reprinted with permission from one of the friend I know, again it contain material not suitable for anyone has a faint heart.)
My experience started when I just start my University, I go to there to study because I break-up with my girlfriend from my hometown. Although it is a few years ago but nevertheless I had an uneasy feeling because my girlfriend’s old boyfriend is member of the cult ‘Our God's Church(?)’, I see in the eye of him and fail to locate his soul. I instantaneously certain of his revenge, whatever how long and how much it cost. It is something we do agree on, except if I am in his place, I would kill my rivalry then run away with my girlfriend. This is the intensity of emotion that I had for the girl I plan to live with for my whole life.
The first thing that is uncanny to me happened when I am doing the registration of my classes in the semester, the registrar said I have to wait because someone is accessing my personal data from another computer. How could it be anyone except him who solely determined to ruin my life? It is because of me that his girlfriend now has someone in her mind, it would be experience so intense that no girl will ever forgot. Then I got my evidence when my University has overcharge me for the costs. It is fair to say the accounting of the University is a mess, so it is difficult to be ascertain if anything like that has happened.
After that incident, I got more and more curious incidents that I suspect the University is overcharging me. In my mind, it is all the fault of my ex-girlfriend’s boyfriend. I then buy a computer to keep a record of every activity of me as a proof if necessary. Every penny is accounted for, and I write complain letter to President of University to contest for every cents that I felt is overcharged. I suppose that give him no opportunity to do anything funny with my student account, then he will have no way to get back at me. I switched my name to a little known one so he can’t trace me through the computer network.
When come back to the hometown, I learned my lesson so I never use my real name to register for water, electricity, phone, mobile and Internet access. When I surf the Internet, I use Proxy and other software to cover my track. Moreover, I almost certainly never registered any account anywhere using any real information, never joined any forum except as anonymous. I read content from Internet and seldom respond at all. I never order any newspaper/magazine because it require a real address, I only read them in the public library in the State once a week. I am afraid that since I switch my name in the middle of my University years, he may already know my new name. Everything I do must be predictable to him since my ex-girlfriend is a turncoat. She is either my friend or enemy. And he is still after me.
My suspicion can never turn out to be wrong as I know of many friends who share the same fear as me do. One of my friend’s friend’s apartment has burnt down, because I hear that he is doing some energy research that would damage US government’s oil interest. Conspiracy is real and alive, just you never willing to believe anything other than that our world is rational, democratic and free. When you look at Hong Kong which one dictatorship run the place after another, you know what sense of freedom they have. Then when you look at whole scandals about the electronic voting, you know how easy and willing that our politicians would bend the rules for their favor. USA has the greatest percentage of lower income family in the so-called developed world, how can the US government keep this company profitable without using any conspiratorial technologies? I am not afflicted with Paranoid Schizophrenia, it is just all of you are too damn silly and stupid!
2008年6月14日 星期六
法輪功是中共的影子
法輪功是世界新紀元宗教運動之一員.其興起和全球思想宗教大勢的關係密不可分,它在中共國的生存和壯大,當然是在中國共產黨的默許和支持下,而它是在中共 國「氣功熱」時興起的,它所以迅速掘起,因為中共意圖用文化大革命去改寫中國文化,結果卻無法建立有生命力的新文化,因為中國文化的影子一直都在中共國民 間。法輪功看穿中共始終需要中國文化的支撐,卻又因過去曾政治清算中國文化而不可以「名正言順,理直氣壯」宣揚中國文化,因為不少反共人仕會拿此來攻擊中 共的理念前後不一致,行為自相矛盾,而且依據中國文化的「歷史正統觀」,中共是中國的叛黨,更不好意思去弘揚中國文化;所以以由中國文化的內涵變化出新產 物,中共國的人民因文化飢渴便如獲至寶。它其實是在中共容許的空間生存,有中共國本身的文化銘印,是中共文化和古中國文化的混種產物,因此可以推測雙方的 行為及結構一定有互相仿效的地方,例如兩者都是獨裁統治,而政治行為亦相差不多。最後它難逃中共國的清算,可能中共發覺中國文化的吸引力太大,反照出它和 中國文化的異質性,影響統治權威;另一可能是中共始終怕宗教/道德的魔力會動搖它碎弱的合法性根基。
中共最怕什麼?就是它自己的影子,莊子的寓言曾說有人因害怕自己的影子而死,看來所言非虛。因為行天道不會分自己和影子,因此不害怕是自己的一部份,正如 同是美國的共和黨並不恐懼合法來奪權的民主黨,可能你中有我,我中有你,有什麼好怕的?但是中共國天道不行,行它自己一套似是而非的道理,因此自己的影子 便和自己分得清清楚楚,而且非常害怕。在它的思維裏,看不到影子是自己的一部份,因此大力打以打擊,但是影子卻是因它本身的性質而生,不可能被消滅,結果 是中共先把法輪功當成影子分出來,然後自己不停追打自己的影子。有壓迫便有反抗,壓迫亦使法輪功戴上道德光環,成了「反抗中共不道德統治」的犧牲者,廣受 同情;相反如果中共國是宗教自由,各種思想自由競爭,法輪功便不會成為它的心腹之患了。
法輪功會不會因此而成為中共的後繼人呢?天佑中國!
中共最怕什麼?就是它自己的影子,莊子的寓言曾說有人因害怕自己的影子而死,看來所言非虛。因為行天道不會分自己和影子,因此不害怕是自己的一部份,正如 同是美國的共和黨並不恐懼合法來奪權的民主黨,可能你中有我,我中有你,有什麼好怕的?但是中共國天道不行,行它自己一套似是而非的道理,因此自己的影子 便和自己分得清清楚楚,而且非常害怕。在它的思維裏,看不到影子是自己的一部份,因此大力打以打擊,但是影子卻是因它本身的性質而生,不可能被消滅,結果 是中共先把法輪功當成影子分出來,然後自己不停追打自己的影子。有壓迫便有反抗,壓迫亦使法輪功戴上道德光環,成了「反抗中共不道德統治」的犧牲者,廣受 同情;相反如果中共國是宗教自由,各種思想自由競爭,法輪功便不會成為它的心腹之患了。
法輪功會不會因此而成為中共的後繼人呢?天佑中國!
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