非常重要的說話—握你手的感覺

我最想成為我妻子的XX,

前天除了想送花給你,算是一種了斷,如果你當時當面拒絕我,我會傷心但會如釋重擔,10個月的擔子真的很痛。我想告訴您,是什麼原因可以撐我達十個月之久,想喜歡心理學的你一定有興趣知。
不是最老土的你有什麼不平凡的長相、過人的聰明、相當豐厚的心理學知識,又或者身材令人想入非非。一切單獨條件和組合對一般人都可以是十足的理由,就算他們對另一位異位有同樣的感覺,都會當前一位的感覺是唯一的。這是我提及的愛情決擇理論,意識事後為事前的決定找過漂亮的理由。我的用意是說,這只是凡夫俗子的愛情,沒有什麼深奧的唯一性及大智慧在內。你給我的是一剎那觸電的感覺,一種我在與異性握手以致拖手時都未曾有過的感覺,對我來說是非常非常的震撼, 說出來真羞家,我的潛意識一直壓抑了「我被這種感覺所迷」的全部記憶,我真的以為是紫微斗數的論據、星座、時辰八字、數字學、姓名學以致心理分析可以證明我們是天生一對。但我一直忘記了,這些只可以在事後證明是否合拍,將來的發展會如何,但沒有一個以至全部可以提供一個先驗的理由,提供不可以用邏緝分析推出來或排斥的唯一性。有一段時間,我也以為你只是我衆多的心理遊戲對象之一,我以為自己和一般凡夫俗子一樣,都是利用這些客觀的數字來堆磡和你上床的理由。沒讀心理學的人不會明白我在說什麼,一來是遺忘了這段經歷,二來更高超的手段是使我不自覺地把這段經歷當成平凡的事。

如此平凡的事,如此震撼的感覺,只發生了兩次,上一次是在我打座時看到的「世界未日」預言期間。如果你有一點印象,你會留意到我在握你手前後的反應是相當呆滯,而口齒亦相當不流利。我當時亦很納悶,就算是即時對你有好感,因而產生怕羞的感覺,亦沒有可能有這樣的快,和如此的入心入肺。我當時只覺得好像是打開了某一扇的心門,有大量不同的影像和思想湧進來,一時間我的意識完全不懂如何處理,而我又有仿如身在夢中的感覺,有點像三魂唔見了七魄,最奇怪的是時間有一點被歪曲了的感覺,忽然有兩種時間並行,一種快一種慢,一方面看到外面的世界好像有點模糊及不清楚,另一方面又是正常的意識。如果你有留意一下我,你會發覺我似乎一直在發呆,因為我想捕捉這一閃即逝,非常模糊但奇怪的感覺,有點像transcendence 或 oneness with the universe,難聽一點是性愛最高峰的感覺(但在生理上不覺有任何的性興奮,亦不可能如此的快)。奇怪的事,就只是和你握完手剎那間,我又似乎完全遺忘了這種感覺,我記性不至於是如此的差,居然不到十秒鐘便忘記之前的感覺?

這種感覺,不單是和其他異性握手時沒有,就是拍拖時手拖手亦沒有,我的潛意識因此認定你一定就是具唯一性的這個人,而意識後來做的事,其實是為潛意識的動機找籍口。我亦因此認定,你在收了我一個月共二百多封電郵後再拒絕我是你有心隱瞞事實,是你有心逃避自己最心底、最原始、最真實的感覺。不可能我感受到震撼,而你竟然一點反應都沒有,你欺騙自己同時在嚴重傷害我,我不知你又和自己在玩什麼心理遊戲,最後受傷的一定是你自己。如果不是這種感覺,世上再沒有人可以令我寫二百多封電郵共三萬多字,用了二百小時以上,然後被你拒絕後不知再寫了幾多封,我想寫給你的中文字(別忘記我打中文是很慢的)是我的一生人的90%,竭而不捨地寫了八個月?如此的投入全因這種「失億」感覺令我100%認定,我們的緣份是天註定,再不會有任何的人可以如此的震撼我的靈魂。

我從來未曾和任何異性說過雷同的話,一字一句,直接出自真心。我以為你有和我同質的靈魂,只是你太沉迷於愛情的迷失感覺中,分不清什麼是由性興奮帶來的快感、什麼是用文字/場景刻意經營的心理效果、什麼是由靈魂深處發出的震撼。我的靈魂,曾經受創傷,但仍健在,它以愛和希望來生存。我見過沒有靈魂的人,但我當我看到你的相片,你只是迷失,你的靈魂尚在掙扎求存,請讓我來和你一生一世共同分享,這種和宇宙合一的奇妙感覺!

我是如此的有信心,因為我的直覺肯定當我們雙手一握,你將無法抗拒這種來自靈魂深處的震撼,我們的結合將代表舊世界的全面崩潰,世界為我們預備了一個最美麗的將來;這一切,由握你手的一刻開始,由你的決定作結。我可以放膽賭一舖,我可以把身家、性命、財產、靈魂全放在一個單是握手就可以為我帶來天人合一感覺的人;你夠不夠膽?你是否對任何一位異性,都有如此大的信心?亦或你把戀愛平凡化了,位位都是相差無幾?位位都是你事後創造出來的感覺來欺騙自己?你的愛情觀裏,沒有前世註定,沒有來世,什麼都是腦神經為繁殖下一代而做出來的幻影?

我這一世不會再說同樣的話兩次!你可以留下來,公諸於世,以任何方式保存,是為千秋萬世的明證,決不變心。我的路走完了,而且決不走回頭路,只要你肯和我一同走的話。

當你無法去分辨真假時,用你的直覺,忘記你的理性和邏緝吧!

此致
因你而迷失,再因你而找回自我
永遠愛你,此志不渝的

Observation in pornography

Sex sells! Other than its stimulating nature, it is also because it is taboo in many cultures. Therefore according to Freudian Psychology, jokes are a way for the release of pent up psychic energy. Similarly, pornography sells not just because it is sex, it is also about cultural taboo. Therefore my observation is that while in conservative culture like Chinese, any amount of exposure of female body is already enough to prompt the mass to buy; while in non-conservative culture like America, it would require more perversion against cultural norm to elicit same strength of response as in Chinese culture. Because the cultural norm there is about equality of man and woman, therefore these pornography depict bondage, mistreatment, torture sells in the same way of pictures of naked woman sells in China.

Alternative Hypothesis for Repression Process

In Freudian Psychology, Repression is said to be actively maintain by Superego to prevent thoughts that is in violation of social norms and personal values from entering the conscious. Now that would require an omniscient Superego that monitor every thought in and out of the Conscious, and that consume enormous amount of energy from psyche to check every thought one have. For those creative people, their mind produce over a million thoughts a day, that would certainly put strain on the psychological activity.
I have an alternative hypothesis about what cause thoughts to be rejected from the Conscious: Due to the nature of thought-object themselves. It maybe part of nature of psyche that similar thoughts attract and different thoughts repel. So it is the nature of thought-ecosystem in individual mind which cause the unpleasant thought/emotion from departing the Conscious. Thus it is not necessary for this thought-ecosystem for knowing the context of each of the thoughts in order to filter the unwanted thought. For instance, since the psyche can't tolerate present of emotional energy that is too strong, then an automatic response is to expel that thought-emotion-object from the psyche. In a sense, it expel itself instead of semi-sentential awareness to examine individual thought and decide which thought stay in Conscious and which is not. Thus we no longer need the construct of Superego as an omniscient entity in the mind. With this hypothesis, we can reformulate all phenomenas termed by Freudian psychology.
What are your opinion on this alternative hypothesis on Process of Repression?

Complex and Complexity

By Complex, I refer to the complex that could be verified by experiment, of the type first suggested by Freud, then Carl Jung and others. This thought I just come up today: Complex is formed in relationship with event that elicit strong emotional reaction to the subject, could complex be formed by the nature of complexity of the emotional reactions, or the nature of the incident itself? What I mean by complexity is that when the complexity is below certain threshold, just like the inorganic structure which can’t sustain itself for long, and dissipate as a simple energy structure; while the complexity is above certain threshold, just like the organic structure which is built for self-sustainability, could maintain itself in the psyche much like life in the Physical world.
i.e. Complex is formed because of the nature of complexity of the emotional reactions, which we can apply the theory of complexity from Physics to Psychology.

Why we can't have ‘I think therefore I desire’?

Freudian Psychology could be summarize in one sentence, it is ‘I desire, therefore I think.’ Many see that as a one way street but not the converse. It is natural to some to see that desire/primitive motivation programmed by DNA is the basis of Human Psychology. Since we live in a world which gravity is pulling us downward, therefore every organism must grown from the base. Thus the hierarchy of Human Needs is starting from Biological needs to Psychological needs to Philosophical needs but not the opposite order. My thinking is: Why must it like that? Why can't it be otherwise? What made the opposite less likely than what we are currently thinking?
So if we think otherwise. Human is the unique animal with his/her Higher Needs more important than its lower Needs. Thus, the first thing s/he realize after his/her birth is his/her existence; therefore s/he has the greatest need to understand the nature of his/her existence, the inborn cognitive apparatus has forced s/he to make sense of it before anything else. As Eric Fromm asserts, every man need to reason out his/her existence otherwise s/he will go insane. Sanity is survival of what is essential as human, and the essence of human must before anything else. So, a man first figure out he is hungry therefore he need food, it is the hungry as a primitive drive in itself that direct his/her behavior. Therefore it lay open the possibility that inborn-damage of brain/mind could led to cases which a person is too dumb to understand the need of food and take effective solution to relieve his/her hungry, but nothing wrong with his/her sense of hungry. Believe it or not, psychological researches do document cases like that. Thus, the hypothesis of ‘I think therefore I desire’ does led itself some credentials.
How would such a framework of psychology be formed? We just need to reverse the Hierarchy of Human needs. As for the cases which this framework may not fit, I would like to advance a hypothesis that maybe for some human this perspective is best to understand their behavior, while for other the normal Hierarchy of Human needs is more applicable.

中共死亡的原因試析

三個字最簡單的答案是它行無神論卻不引進民主、科學,結果中共自己比中國人更迷信,因為內心 虛怯所以發動文革,破壞中國古文化卻發展不了一套全新和有活力的文化,自從八九年六月四日大屠殺以 後,共產主義陣營崩潰,它嚇得魂不附體,再無自信心內部改革。為了收買人心,不改革政治,卻更開放經濟,社會問題更趨嚴重,它只是做一日和尚敲一日鐘,它 已經 沒有信念(ideology),沒有信心,只是活一日過一日。頭痛醫頭,腳痛醫腳,如今中史政令不出中南海,貪污叢生,每年的施政目標只可以完成一半。外 表工程 做得愈多,表明它的內心愈虛怯。
如今一個有趣的現象,是它比其他傳統中國人更迷信,連奧運會亦要揀2008年8月8日8時8分,可以用佛洛伊德的「被壓抑物之回歸」(Return of the repressed)來形容,因為精神空虛,本身無理念支撐自己的行為,亦不是用科學方法,因此當有天災人禍發生,被壓抑的封建迷信便席卷全國,如野火潦原。
心理學有一個所謂「自我實現的預言」,就是當有人自己以為是絕症,則不用絕症他/她也會以為是因絕症是死。所以中共步向滅亡只有一個理由,就是中國共產黨 它在心理戰上被打敗,當它以為自己是已經失敗了,讓它自己一步步放棄,一步步倒退。法輪功對中共打的心理戰已經有多少成果,如今的中國天災人 禍,而任何有志推翻共產政權之士都覺得是千載良機,可一不可再,中共已近它的未路了,所有獨裁專制政權都以為自己是千秋萬世,結果沒有一個可以!

Conscious, Unconscious and Tao

When Freud first envision his theory of human psychology, he has the idea of conscious and unconscious but he doesn't realize the usage of the word Unconscious could erupted into heated debate inside the Psychoanalytic circle. I had another article in Chinese talked about similar controversy when his theory is transplanted to Chinese culture, the central problem in this and that are the same: Shall we consider Unconscious is categorically different from Conscious, or Conscious and Unconscious are merely different state of Conscious, that is Unconscious is just outside Conscious?
In the first sense, Unconscious is being something that is just different from Conscious because it is operated by a different principle: For instance, Freud asserted that Unconscious doesn't differentiate between opposite(like Yang and Ying), much the same way as opposite elements are both operate by Tao according to Taoism. Therefore there is a categorically differentiation between the operation of Conscious and Unconscious. So in this sense, they are like oil and water, they simply don’t mix. However, Conscious and Unconscious can still communicate because they share some similarity(Tao is inclusive of the opposite.)
In the later sense, Unconscious is included as part of Psychological Space, just being rejected/censored by Conscious(to be emotionally correct.) Therefore the thoughts and feelings originally formed in Conscious in according to the rules and parameters of the operation of Conscious. Therefore there is no different in nature of the thought/feel objects in Conscious and in Unconscious. Just the same thing placed in different places. So the operation of the psyche, the Tao, is running throughout the psyche; there is no need to have separate rules and parameters for each part of psyche. The mind operated as a mind according to Tao.
Could that also be, in the later case, Conscious thought/feeling objects had transformed into Unconscious thought/feeling objects? Thus Conscious and Unconscious are operated differently in one sense(of the nature of thought/feeling object), but they are united in another sense
(of the nature of psychological space). Things are different but the same, which is the idea of Tao. Is mind the best example of the operation of Tao?

A new method for Psychoanalysis

The manifest of a complex in Psychoanalysis usually take the form of prolonged time for processing of a verbal stimulate. Then by digging into the web of association of that verb, the analyst would eventually uncover the repressed memory that is thought to be a root cause of current psychological problem. It seems to assume that the added emotional load onto a verb related to a repressed incident would necessarily increase the time of processing of that word. So ‘neutral’ word is assumed to process faster than emotionally loaded words.
However, by the theory of Psychoanalysis lied down by Freud, the nature of repression is just the word ‘repression’. Any emotionally unpleasant memory would attempt to hide certain verbal association in the mind, therefore it would slow down the processing of stimulate associated with this incident. Freud doesn’t seem to provide a method on how to overcome this repression(it appear that repression could overcome magically at some instance during the therapy). I would like to provide a method here to circumvent the unconscious block without directly attacking it.

My thought is following the direction given by this blog post. The idea behind it is although it can hide the association, but it can never hide the fact it has attempting to hide the association, otherwise it wouldn’t be termed repression at all. So by looking specially for those who take longest to process and elicit strongest unconscious bodily reaction like increase of pulse, sweating, dilution of pupil, subtle change of tone of voice, the therapist could target the specific verbal stimulate that seems to be lying at the heart of the matter. Now, that is not the end of the story, the therapy session need to uncover more of the nature of the block and the reason behind the block. How?

As the therapist now have the target stimulate, s/he can paired with other ‘neutral’ stimulate, and apply the similar methodology to detect the association that unconscious try to hide. For instance, if the focus verbal stimulate is ‘Shoe’, the s/he can pair it with ‘Man,Woman,Food,Drink,Doll….etc’. If then s/he notices that it take longest for the client to process the pair of ‘Shoe, Woman’, the therapy then can use that as the focus stimulate to look for other association that unconscious attempt to hide, and s/he can repeat the process until it has reached the limit of Short Term Memory(7 items). For instance, s/he arrived at something
like ‘Shoe, Woman, Closet, Masturbate, Guilty, Parent, Punishment’, then the therapist would made up different stories using these verbal stimulate, and notices the reaction of client to each of them. Therefore now the therapist has a much better pictures of the psychological operation of the client without the client fighting the complex alone. My concern is also, sometimes it maybe better for the therapist to understand the client better before digging into his/her past because the therapist could planned for what would happen when his/her client face different complexes.

我的一個夢

解夢者,我這個夢的解需要一個人來解,但是可能愈解愈複雜,又或者夢本身不是為了解要發生的,我一生人似乎都是為一個夢而活着。不是一個夢,是這個最特別的夢。
在十六年前的夢中,一向以來十分祟洋的我居然看到了一條活生生的龍,很有威嚴的在海上飛翔,由龍頭到龍尾,我看得清清楚楚,是中國最古老傳說中的龍。說也 奇怪,我未曾見一條龍的樣子,卻十分肯定是真龍。它並不暴虐,相反有一點儒雅,它不代表亢奮,相反卻異常的安祥和自在,它給我的感覺是龍無需要像哥斯拉一 樣噴火發威,只要它本身是一條真龍,萬事萬物自然臣服,一切都是這般自然和舒服。
這個海在哪兒呢?我當時的第一個感覺就是在我住哪兒附近的海,我自小十分喜歡大海的。我最奇怪的是,整個夢中沒有我自己,是有史以來最客觀的夢,夢怎可能 是客觀的?我怎可能不在自己的夢之中呢?有一個可能性,就是我自己本身就是這條龍。但是龍又有什麼喻意呢?對中國文化不甚了了的我一直不明白。
我現在勉強有一個解釋,希望諸位看倌不要怪我穿鑿附會,我的文化程度只是到哪兒。如果不是偶然寫了一篇我的「中國主張」, 我根本想不出來:記得拿破崙曾經說過中國是一隻沉睡的獅子,可能是受了咀咒,一直在夢中醒不來,我的想法是中國真的醒來了,中國會在我們這一代的努力中醒過來。不過,相當有趣的是,龍下面的大海我以為是代表了容格(Carl Jung)提出的習體潛意識,而冒起是其實是一個念頭, 代表中國的冒起是由思想的冒起而生,我不以為現在的中國是真正崛起。依我的夢,中國的崛起是意念的崛起,思想的崛起,是在抽象意義層面的崛起,不是可以拿 GDP來衡量的,亦只有真正覺醒的中國人才會明白的崛起。整個冒起又和新紀元運動(New Age)的來臨有關,難道它的意思是,中國將在新紀元運動中冒起?
有沒有人明白?
(還有,李天命好像說過:一場革命的開始,只是一個念頭。)

無意識和潛意識之辨

無意識和潛意識,是我思想史最早的語義學和心理學問題,對我有特殊的意義。
我在當時看的不少心理學書,都是用無意識來代替潛意識,其實兩者同樣是代表弗洛伊德提 出的unconscious,即意識上不清楚、不知道的事,但我以為潛意識比中文心理學書常用的無意識較為合理。因為依我的慨念,無就是虛無,什麼都沒有 的意思,是不存在的東西,如此說來無意識的意思是不存在意識的狀態.如果意識不存在即人腦的活動終止,亦即是死。活生生的人,他/她的意識怎可能終止呢? 就算他/她是在作夢/不清醒的狀態,但是他/她依然可以察覺自己的存在,因此人不可能會有無意識,只可以說是進入了潛意識。潛意識是清醒意識之外的東西, 但是潛意識本身不是意識性質的否定:無意識,作為一個有機的整體的人的意識流本身一定是連貫的,正如生命是一個整體一樣。因此潛意識只可以說是包含在意識 以內,卻不一定被意識察覺的東西,它一定是和意識流連貫的。
為什麼中國人喜歡用無意識而不是潛意識呢?似乎是中國人的習體潛意識中,意識被割斷成兩個狀態,一個是清醒,一個是不清醒,清醒和不清醒的東西自然是截然 不同,所以潛意識不能算屬於意識的一部份。因為潛意識的性質和清醒意識相反,兩件相反的東西,怎可以同時兼容在同一個心靈空間內?因此,清醒意識是意識, 非清醒意識不是意識,是意識以外的空間,是神怪活動的世界,「子不語怪力亂神」,和常人生活的世界有所不同。
由此思路出發,可以看出心理分析學的一個潛在的邏緝問題,無意識是意識以外的東西,它之所以在意識以外,一來可能是被意識刻意驅逐,另外可能是它本身的性 質是不容於意識之內,但是意識作為有一個有連貫性及內在邏緝的整體,如何可以包容性質是不容於意識之外的東西而它自己又不分裂呢?例如在文字的認知過程, 由螢幕的一系列光暗到組成有規律有意義的字,有幾多是在我們意識範圍內呢?我的猜想是,可能當我們年紀還小的時侯,由於在神經心理學中的發展階段,是可以 清淅的感知整個由刺激到形成觀念再分析的過程,後來為了避免浪費神經系統的資源,又或者是受某進化規則的限制,這些「無聊、硝碎」事慢慢被移到意識以外, 最後變成不知不覺,即成了我們的潛意識。潛意識發展到這地步,到底還算不算是意識的一部份呢?如果純以覺知的意義去看,潛意識當然是意識不可或缺的一部 份,但是如果以意識一定是包含思想/理性抽象分析過程去看,潛意識只是提供資料給意識,是意識的起點,則到底潛意識應不應算是意識的一部份?

無意識、潛意識和莊子的道

剛剛在寫「無意識、潛意識之辨」時 想起心理分析學的一個邏緝問題,因而我就想起了莊子的寓言,意識是一樣相當奇怪的東西,依該文所述,它居然可以包容了和它性質上截然不同的東西。意識豈不 是和道家思想中的道是同類?道的特性,有人提出是它可以包容任何東西,包括看來不是像是「有道」的東西,在道的大框框下,可以生出任何事物,有一些事物在 表面上是和道相容,如水及各種自然現象,它們是道最直接的體現;然而,由各種生物去到人,道的表現愈來愈不明顯,甚至可以說是不存在,人的行為看來有時是 什麼規則都沒有,不就是「無道」嗎?但依道家思想,人不是由道所生?
同理,我們可以把意識看成是一個大框框,在此框框之下,它可以包容表面看來和意識不相容的無意識/潛意識,無意識/潛意識本身一定是由意識所生,是屬於意 識以內的一種物體,但是它的性質怎看都看不出和意識有邏緝上的連貫關係。我們可以說無意識/潛意識由意識所生,慢慢卻演化出和意識不同的性質,但是邏緝上 無意識/潛意識又不可以獨立於意識之外,這個在意識之內卻又不表現出意識的性質的東西,不正正和人理應由道所生,行為卻不一定合乎道的一樣?
再想深一習,人的行為當是無意識/潛意識和意識角力的結果,人的行為如果是無道的,則是不是代表無道的行為是由有道的意識和看來無道的無意識/潛意識「合 作無道」所產生?同理,人的行為如果是有道的,則是不是代表無道的行為是由有道的意識和看來無道的無意識/潛意識「合作有道」所產生?意識、無意識/潛意 識和道的關係是什麼?